Senior English major on a Shakespeare final. (via minininny)
WELL THEY’RE NOT WRONG
How about this, though?
[Editorial Note: This “theory” depends on believing the Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet take place contemporaneously. So, for the sake of argument, let’s all agree that the events of both plays occur in the Spring of 1517 (chosen because of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses, and the Reformational threads that run through Hamlet).]
See, in the Second Quarto and First Folio versions of Romeo and Juliet, a[n extremely minor] character appears with Romeo, Mercutio, and Benvolio at the Capulet’s Party (where, if you recall, Romeo meets Juliet for the first time).
Like Hamlet's Horatio, this Horatio is full of well-worded philosophical advice. He tells Romeo “And to sink in it should you burden love, too great oppression for a tender thing.”
Fig. 1 - Second Quarto Printing
Fig. 2 - First Folio Printing
[The American Shakespeare Center’s Education Blog discusses the likely “real” reasons for Horatio’s presence]
Let’s imagine that Horatio has travelled down from Wittenberg (about 540 miles) to Verona for his Spring Break. He hears about some guys who like to party (because, let’s be honest, besides getting stabbed, partying is Mercutio’s main thing). So, he ends up crashing the Capulet’s ball with them.
He is then on the sidelines as Romeo and Juliet fall in love, Tybalt kills Mercutio, Romeo kills Tybalt, Romeo gets banished, and both lovers are found dead in Juliet’s tomb.
This tragedy fresh in his mind, he returns to Wittenberg at the end of what has turned out to be a decidedly un-radical Spring Break and discovers that his bestie Prince Hamlet is leaving for Elsinore Castle because he’s just gotten news that his father, the King, is dead.
On the trip up (another ~375 miles), Horatio recounts the tragic romance he just witnessed in Verona. He advises (as he is wont to do) Hamlet not to mix love and revenge.
Hamlet takes Horatio’s advice to heart, breaking up with Ophelia so that he can focus is energy on discovering and punishing his father’s killer:
Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner
transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the
force of honesty can translate beauty into his
likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the
time gives it proof. I did love you once.
Ophelia - burdened by the perceived loss of Hamlet’s love and his murder of her father - goes mad and drowns herself.
You see, if Romeo had waited literally a minute and thirty seconds longer (31 iambic pentametrical lines) - he, Juliet, Ophelia (and possibly the rest of the Hamlet characters) would have made it.
* With thanks to roguebelle.
Buncha fuckin nerds in this town.
The Hamratiophelia Conspiracy Theory ftw
Where my English majors at?
That’s an interesting premise. It might not be a consumer’s ignorance that drives national brand success, as much as a doctor’s or chef’s familiarity with generics due to their business’s profit motive.
To create a hypothetical example: A doctor’s charging a fixed price for aspirin dispensed through his office or hospital pharmacy, and the bean counters have dictated there’s a 600% profit on generic aspirin vs a 300% profit on Bayer. Success rates are similar, so the doctor gets positive experiential knowledge based on his forced use of the generic product, while a consumer has only a perceived brand quality based on marketing on which to base their decision. So a doctor or chef having their hands tied gets them accustomed to “this is good enough” in the quality department.
Chefs, especially, are accustomed to “this is good enough” quality, via having most of their staples delivered by Sysco.
Part of the being informed, though, is also understanding what the differences actually are- Frequently, store brand products are made by the same manufacturers with the same ingredient suppliers as national brands. For example, Costco’s Kirkland brand bourbon is made by Buffalo Trace.
And in the case of medicines, you know the generic has to meet the same regulatory standards, and that there can’t be differences in concentration of active ingredient or efficacy because they are legally required to be “therapeutically equivalent.” The difference between brand and generic prescription medicines is usually in whatever the inactive ingredients (“excipients”) are, the stuff that makes it possible to form it into a pill or capsule or the liquid the medicine is suspended in, so once in a while a particular patient needs a particular brand over the generic because of an allergy or something.
It might be familiarity, but it could also be generalizing from a specific. Once you realize that canned pinto beans taste the same from Sysco as they do from a national brand, you fan out from there. With a few exceptions, staples (as opposed to recipes) are really hard to differentiate anyway. And as Tiffany rightly notes, it’s essentially impossible with medicine—if store brand naproxen didn’t work exactly the same as Aleve, it wouldn’t be on the shelves.
Do you ever let your guard down around someone you don’t know that well, like at work, and make a joke or a silly aside that you think is funny, and all your friends would find hilarious, but then that person is like
And then you’re just like
Like whoever told you “just be yourself!” Have they ever known me? That is the worst advice ever.
A fact I don’t often talk about is that I was in an a capella group in college. My senior year we performed at a new student luau, and in between one of the songs I made a dumb joke about how they could all tell their friends they got lei’d on their first day at college. The vice president of the school was there, and he was not a man noted for his sense of humor. He turned to a friend of mine, who was sitting at the table with him, and through clenched teeth said: “He thinks he’s funny, doesn’t he?”
That was 14 years ago, and I still shudder when I think about it. I did not learn a lesson from it, though.
At any given time, the urge to sing “The lion sleeps tonight” is just a whim away a whim away, a whim away, a whim away…
IN THE JUNGLE, THE MIGHTY JUNGLE